Margie Robben

No one can escape girl bullies. They are all around us. And they are hungry for victims.

 

A young girl comes to America from Ireland. She is a sweet and pretty girl in her teens. She moves to a New England town and within a year she attracts some of the most popular boys in her school.  The girl bullies also take note of her and they are threatened. They bombard the Irish colleen with inhumane tactics, and she winds up hanging herself. The bullies have done their job well.

 

Another young woman joins a country club. She is an excellent athlete but several “A” team players are threatened by her. The lead bully convinces the others by manipulation and deceit that she is not worthy to play with them and prevents the young woman from being invited to join the team.

 

A third-grade girl, articulate and beautiful, is found crying in her room at night. Her Mom tries to find out why her daughter is so unhappy. The little girl sobs as she tells her Mom how a girl in her class is making up stories about her and is convincing other girls in the class not to include her in their activities.

 

Bully girls are not dumb. In fact, they are exceptionally intelligent. They are gifted in how they express themselves. In public they come across as innocent and charming but in private they can be vindictive, vicious, and evil.

 

Girl bullies have been known to get guys to do their bullying. An expert seductress, a girl bully can get a guy to kill for her or get a guy to set up the victim by having sex and then humiliating her by telling other guys all that has occurred.

           

Girl bullies are like the female mongoose.  A dominant female mongoose can start a war within her community when she feels threatened and she gets the older females to evict a competing female by chasing, scratching and biting her.

The female bully wants control, and wants to make other girls submissive to her.  To understand how she operates will be an important skill to have to resist falling under her strong spell.  

 

A female bully has a sense of entitlement. She has deep prejudices and keeps them secret. You will never hear her give compliments to other girls not in her group. She compulsively criticizes. If she sees another girl as a potential threat to her power she will try to destroy her. Other girls would rather join her than stand up to her.

 

The female bully is a know-it-all, but under this guise there is a spiritual deadness and a mean-spirited petty disorder. She tries to have others see her as a kind and caring person, but her entire effort is to dominate.  

 

Some girl bullies go on to bigger things. They become adult serial bullies.  They can be found in the workplace as our bosses, coaches, landlords, politicians, and religious leaders.

 

Bullies usually come from an abused upbringing and are full of resentment toward their past abusers. They take their hostility out on victims their own age. You will have to be strong to resist them.

 

You can be sure, however, that the bully-girl will eventually fail. They always do. But you might have to be patient for this to happen. Besides seeking the help of other people like yourself you will have to keep reminding yourself of your own value. Eventually you will find other girls and women to be your real friends.

 

 

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do

 

                                      September 12, 2008

           

 

I think I may be an elitist. I think I may be a “typical” white woman. I think I may cling to analyzing and intellectualization when I find things falling apart around me.  I can’t understand why people do not think the way I think. I think I may be naïve. I think I may be a dreamer.

 

I am 74 years old and near the end of my days. I thought that trying to change the world was behind me. Lately, I have been thinking about taking my sisters’ advice, “Slow down, sit by the beach with a book and sip lemonade.”

 

I have always been interested in how people interact. My curious nature led me to college at age 36 when my fifth child was ready for kindergarten. I wanted to know all there was to know about sociology and psychology and why people behave the way they do. I wanted to know what all the smart people knew.

 

At night I used the TV news programs to fall asleep. During one of those evenings while watching election results I was inspired by a young man who won a Senate seat from Illinois. I followed his progress through the years, read his books and was very impressed. He had a tongue-twister of a name: Barack Obama. 

 

Before Obama I wasn’t much interested in politics except for one brief moment when John F. Kennedy rode down Hempstead Turnpike on Long Island just before his election.  It was a cold autumn day and my husband and I along with our five children and one baby carriage ran several blocks to where his motorcade was going by. There he was, standing in an open car, hair blowing in the wind, coat opened, big smile on his face waving to us all. Those were happy days.

 

The happy days were soon followed by very sad ones. Three great American men killed: John, Martin, and Bobby.  Politics were too painful. Over and over I would ask, “Why do people kill great people?”  Is it because they are different from the ordinary? Is it because they want to “change” things?

 

Change is Obama’s campaign platform!  He wants to change and fix things that do not work. He wants change in all aspects of American life –  foreign relations, education, and economics. He wants to bring our troops home. He wants to make health care available and affordable, and make the drug companies accountable!

 

Barack Obama to me is humble, empathic, and extremely intelligent.  He has street smarts, and is hopeful, spiritual, loyal, and optimistic. He loves his family and they love him.  He has a sense of humor and an infectious wide smile and he’s slow to anger.

 

He listens to others. He can think on his feet and sees where the problems lie. He is loyal and emotionally stable.  He is wise beyond his years. He has a calm and serene temperament. He has an innate ability to know when something is right or wrong. He is a great teacher!

 

On Memorial Day this past May, I bumped into an old friend. When she saw me she rushed to greet me with a big warm hug. I was wearing my favorite patriotic sweater and my just purchased Obama hat.  She glanced at my head and shouted for all to hear, “You are a disgrace to your country, Margie!” I felt dizzy, like I was going to fall over. The word “disgrace” hit me like a ton of bricks.  The pain in my chest was incredible. I turned from her and I started to walk away and never went back.

 

I know she did not mean to hurt me.  I think she was threatened by who Barack Obama is and his message of “change”. I believe I was the victim of her fear

 

The opposing political party, like my friend, has launched their own attack against Obama. They use ridicule and distortions to attack him. They also seem to be afraid of change. McCain proposes the same platform as the President for the last eight years.

 

Younger Americans, like I was many years ago, do not have time to sort the truth from fiction. They are too busy. This can be a dangerous situation today because truth in America is a rare commodity. In all areas of life, lying and deceit is a national pastime.

 

Until November 4^th, I will continue to organize non-partisan Voter Registrations as a gift from the Obama Campaign. I am out there dragging a table and two chairs to the beaches, parks, and storefronts signing up unregistered citizens.  

 

My greatest hope is that Barack Obama wins the Presidency of the United States.

 

My worst nightmare is that fear will win out over change and that Barack Obama will lose the election and I will sadly be saying on the morning of November 5, 2008, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”.